Cultivating Curiosity

I was that kid that always asked, “WHY?” And I asked it persistently, much to the annoyance of my parents. I recall being seven years old and asking my Mum what the ‘Give Way’ sign meant as we were driving to school. I asked, “Why does it say Give Way?” She replied, “I don’t know.”  It makes me laugh thinking about it now. Of course my mum knew, what she probably meant to say was “Please, just be quiet Sam, for two minutes—for the love of God!” But she chose a more passive way of addressing my curiosity. I actually recall thinking it strange that Mum had a driver’s license but couldn’t tell me what some of the road signs meant. Anyways…

I recently listened to a podcast by Elizabeth Gilbert called ‘The Curiosity Driven Life’ on Oprah Winfrey’s Super Soul podcast. She starts out by saying, “I am here today to speak out against passion.” And that’s after years of preaching passion. So what happened? After a speaking gig a few years prior, someone posted a long letter on Liz’s Facebook wall saying that they had never felt more of a failure than they did after hearing her talk. Why? This individual had spent their life as an explorer, all in an effort to find their passion, but they never landed on it. So after hearing Liz say, “Follow your passion!” for an hour, this woman felt like a complete and utter failure, because she had tried, and not found the certainty that Liz had around her personal passion of writing. Liz felt stabs of responsibility for this woman’s pain and so she reevaluated her view of passion.

Liz suggests that those who feel that they haven’t ‘found’ their passion should take that very word off the table. She says, “Relieve yourself of that word, because there’s so much pressure around that. Let it go and where that was, instead of carrying the anxiety that comes with the struggle of trying to distill your passion—follow your curiosity. Curiosity is a gentler, kinder, more humane instinct than passion. It’s accessible—it won’t strip your life bare. It doesn’t take from you, it gives and what it gives are clues to what you’re interested in.” She goes on to say, “Passion is demanding and it can be a dangerous impulse. Passion demands everything out of you. But curiosity will never make outrageous demands of you.”

It took me years to land on writing as my passion. Years. As a kid, there were the piano years, the saxophone years, the acting years until I landed on writing. I had an inclination that my passion was in the arts. I did a bit of drawing, painting and cooking, but nothing set my soul on fire. It wasn’t until in my mid-twenties I reflected on what I loved about my ‘acting years’. In the theatre group I was a part of—every Saturday, we’d get together and play. When we weren’t working on a show or competition pieces our afternoons consisted of being split up into groups, being given a title and twenty minutes before we performed in front of each other. It was the best. And it wasn’t until my twenties that I realised that what I loved was the liberation of creating something from scratch—imagining something into being. Interestingly, that epiphany came when I was working at the BBC in television. I had observed that a lot of creativity came from the writers and so I thought to myself, “I should write books, that way I get to create the whole idea.” And so I committed to it. I guess my ‘journey’ was somewhat linear. 

Elizabeth goes on to share that perhaps your passion isn’t so much of a destination as it is a journey and it may be a journey that never ends. She speaks of the hummingbird who goes from tree to tree and flower to flower—cross pollinating the world.  And perhaps it’s when you look back that you find your passion has been in the process and collectively, you’ve learnt something at each of the stages of cross-pollination. Then, having followed your curiosity, you may find that your curiosity has led to you finding your passion.

So, that’s all good and well, but when you’re in the thick of feeling like life is a little lack-luster, how do you go on the hunt for your passion and cultivate curiosity? The most important thing in my view is that you turn on your mind. Engage with yourself, the world around you, your friends and family. Ask. Ask. Ask. What? How? Why? Tell me? And listen to the answers, slow down and delve a little deeper. Albert Einstein, “The important thing is not to stop questioning … Never lose a holy curiosity.” Perhaps that’s why he ended up being the renowned genius he is. 

You may not have wanted to be a doctor your entire life, a painter or a business-woman and that’s ok. You may still be unsure about what might set your heart on fire and that’s ok.  Because here’s the thing, no matter what you feel or think—you have agency. You get to decide. Sure, life brings with it limitations—for some it might be harder to achieve the things that burn in your heart than others, but that’s ok, just let your curiosity keep driving you, bring in some discipline, and all will be well. And now, let me leave you with the wisdom of Dr. Suess. 

“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes.

You can steer yourself—any direction you choose.”

Dr. Suess—Oh the Places You’ll Go!